top of page

in the picture

The mental crisis that I fell into after raising my child. It may be something that many mothers experience. However, the feeling of loss that hit me was intense. I continued to capture myself with the camera, facing the empty cave of being. By continuing to look at myself in the picture, I thought through the relationship between mother and child. And in the picture, I step out of the dark room under the sky into the city. I have a feeling that taking a picture will unleash me into a world full of fresh air. The feeling of loss also becomes my blood and flesh, and I start a renew self.

046_iidanaomi.jpg

During the four years that I suffered from the "empty nest syndrome" after raising my children, I seriously reconsidered the relationship between mother and child, and the wonder of the existence of a mother. I continued to take self-portraits daily as a means to reconsider. This act has given me a great deal.

The act of taking photographs and seeing myself in them gave me the strength to support myself in the midst of my suffering and enabled me to look at the nature of my suffering more calmly.

Furthermore, it gives me a sense that photography will lead to the recovery of a more open connection with people while maintaining a connection with society.

At the same time, it was an attempt to expand the concept of self-portraiture in my own way.

It also became a record of my daily search for ways to survive the life stage transition of women who are about to enter old age without denying it and without distorting themselves, something that has rarely been addressed in the past. It teaches that living everyday life is also a quiet battle.

私は、子育て後の「空の巣症候群」に苦しんだ4年間を通じて、母と子の関係性、そして母親という存在のありようの不可思議さを真摯に見つめ直すことになった。セルフポートレートをその手段とし、日々撮り続けた行為が与えたものはきわめて大きかった。

写真を撮る、そして写真の中の自分を見ることは、苦悩の最中にいる自身を支える力となり、より冷静に苦悩の在りどころを見つめることを可能にした。さらに、写真を撮ることで社会とのつながりを保持しつつ、より開かれた回路へと修復するだろうとの予感をもたらす。と同時に、セルフポートレートの概念を私なりに拡張する試みとなった。

これまで取り上げられることの少なかった老年期に入ろうとする女性のライフステージ転換期をどうしたら、否定することなく、さらに自らを歪めずに生き延びられるのかという模索の日々の記録でもあり、それは日常を生きることは静かな戦いが続くことだと教えるのである。

© Naomi Iida
bottom of page